đŠđ„ As a kid, I ditched Barbies for plastic T-Rexes faster than you can say âCretaceous,â so you bet I was first in line for *Jurassic World: Rebirth* today, popcorn in hand and dino dreams in my heart đŠđż.
Spoiler alert: this flick isnât the fossilized masterpiece of the original *Jurassic Park*, but itâs got enough roars, chases, and head-scratching moments to keep a dino nerd like me entertained. Saddle up, endurance ridersâthis reviewâs got thrills, spills, and a few eye rolls bigger than a bucking bronco!
đA Stampede of ClichĂ©s That Had Me Yelling at the Screen đ After seven *Jurassic* movies, we know the drill: shady corporate types, squabbling scientists, and a kid in peril (because, apparently, no dino flick is complete without one). *Rebirth* follows Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson, kicking butt like a trail boss), a gritty mercenary, and Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey, basically a dino fanboy with a PhD), on a mission to snag DNA from mega-dinosaurs for a heart disease cure. Cue a shipwrecked family, a forbidden island, and a whole lotta teeth. Sounds fun, right? Sure, but the clichĂ©s hit harder than a spooked gelding. I lost track of how many times I muttered, âDonât do that!â đ ââïž, âTurn around!â đ, âPay attention!â đĄ, or the classic, âWatch the kid!â đ§ as characters made dino-sized dumb decisions. Splitting up on a predator-packed island? Ignoring rustling bushes? Itâs like theyâve never seen a *Jurassic* movie! Maybe these are only clichĂ©s because weâve watched this franchise outrun a thousand raptors, but the first act drags like a green horse on a long trot, bogged down by clunky exposition. I was ready to yell, âUnleash the dinos already!â đŠ
New Dinos and a T-Rex River Chase Thatâll Chomp Your Heart đŠ Despite the predictable plot, *Rebirth* delivers where it counts: the dinosaurs. The new beastsâlike the Distortus Rex (think T-Rex meets Alien nightmare) and Mutadons (winged raptor-pterosaur freaks)âare straight-up terrifying. Gareth Edwardsâ direction and ILMâs CGI magic make these critters feel so real, I half-expected to dodge a tail on my ride home đŽ.
The real star? The T-Rex river chase đđŠ. Pulled from Michael Crichtonâs original Jurassic Park novel (cut from the â93 film due to CGI limits), this scene is a heart-pounding masterpiece. The Delgado family, stranded on the dino-infested island, piles onto an inflatable raft only to get hunted by a *swimming T-Rex*. Yep, you read that rightâthis bad boyâs doing laps like a prehistoric Michael Phelps! The tensionâs tighter than a cinched saddle, with Jaws-level suspense as the T-Rex flips the raft. The kidâs in danger (of course), and my heart was galloping faster than Jovi at a vet check. The payoff? So satisfying, I nearly stood up and cheered đ. This sequence alone is worth the ticket price.
Overcooked Drama and a Helicopter-Snatching LOL đ *Rebirth* tries to stretch the suspense like a trail ride thatâs two hours too long. The first half lingers on family drama and team bickering when I just wanted more dino chaos. And donât get me started on the boat sceneâwhy is everyone leaping off like the Mosasaur yelled, âAbandon ship!â? đ€ Itâs like dismounting mid-gallop because you *think* your horse is spooked. Slow down, folks!
Then thereâs the helicopter scene (*spoiler alert!* đ). A massive dinoâletâs call it Jaws on steroidsâsnatches a chopper out of the sky like itâs grabbing a mid-flight snack. I mean, *come on*! No way that beast walks away without chapped lips at best or a serious case of chopped ones from those spinning blades đȘ. Itâs a jaw-dropping visual, but my suspension of disbelief took a bigger hit than a T-Rex tail swipe. Even for a dino diehard like me, that moment had me snorting louder than my horse at a water crossing đ.
A Roaring Good Time, But No Fossilized Classic đ Jurassic World: Rebirth is a dino-mite popcorn flick that leans hard on nostalgia and spectacle. The T-Rex river chase is a show-stealer, and the new dinosaurs are scary enough to make you double-check your barn for raptors. But the clichĂ©d plot and paper-thin characters keep it from outrunning the original *Jurassic Park*. Itâs like riding a trusty trail ponyâit gets you to the finish line, but donât expect it to win the Tevis Cup. As a lifelong dino lover whoâs been dodging Barbies for T-Rexes since kindergarten, Iâll always show up for these movies, even when theyâre more âmehâ than âroar.â This oneâs got enough teeth to keep you entertained, even if youâre yelling at the screen half the time. **Rating**: 6.5/10 â A fun romp for dino fans, but itâs no king of the *Jurassic* jungle đŠ. Would I watch it again? You betâthose dinos are too cool to skip. Will I yell âDonât do that!â again? Like a trail boss herding newbies, absolutely đ. Whatâs your take on *Rebirth*? Did the T-Rex river chase give you chills, or were you rolling your eyes at the helicopter snack? Drop a comment belowâIâm dying to swap dino tales! đŠđŹ Happy trails (and watch out for those velociraptors),
As an endurance rider, Iâm constantly chasing ways to make my rides smoother, safer, and more enjoyable for both me and my horses. Years ago, I discovered a barn game-changer: a liquid rubber dip thatâs become my secret weapon for taming noisy tack and protecting gear. Trust meâthis stuff is a must-have for any horse lover, and it might just become your new trail-side bestie!
Why a Rubber Coating?
A Barn Superhero with Endless Uses
My Yearly Refresh Routine
Give It a Try!
First up, I grabbed my trusty roll of duct tape and went to town on every bucket handle I could findâstall buckets, feed buckets, trailer buckets, you name it. Why? Those sneaky rubber protectors on bucket handles have a habit of slipping off, leaving a gap thatâs practically begging for trouble. Iâve seen it too many times at endurance events: a horse gets caught on an exposed handle, and itâs a recipe for disaster. From painful scrapes to full-on panic, it never ends well.
Plus, those gaps can wreak havoc on a horseâs mane or tail. Cowboyâs been working hard for years to grow out his glorious mane, and Iâm not about to let a rogue bucket ruin his style! A few strips of duct tape over those handles create a smooth, snag-free surface, keeping my horses safe and their locks intact.
Next, I took a stroll around the property to inspect fences and gatesâbecause nothing says AWTH like a protruding screw or sharp edge. Any hardware sticking out got a generous wrapping of duct tape. Sure, a determined horse might still find a way to get a bump or bruise, but a few layers of tape can make all the difference, softening the impact and reducing the risk of serious injury. Itâs a small step that adds a big layer of protection to my peace of mind.
These quick fixesâduct tape on bucket handles and overexposed hardwareâmight seem small, but theyâre game-changers in the world of horse safety. As endurance riders, we know our horses give their all on the trail. The least we can do is make their home base a safe haven, free from preventable accidents. Plus, who doesnât love a low-cost, high-impact solution that keeps both horse and rider smiling? So, grab that duct tape, do a barn walk-through, and letâs keep those AWTHs at bay. Your horse (and their fabulous mane) will thank you!
